(Boss Ch. 2) Looking for Ms. Goodboss

In the 1977 film Looking for Mr. Goodbar, Diane Keaton plays a woman looking for her ideal man, whom she calls Mr. Goodbar, to take her away from her mundane life and into a world of excitement. In a similar way, I was looking for a car that could do the same thing for me. But like the character from the film, instead of finding something solid and dependable for the long haul, I was drawn to something far more dangerous and against my better judgement, I fell hard for a bipolar, punk-rock girl with an attitude – a 2012 Boss 302. She is my Ms. Goodboss. Or, she would be if I could have her the way I first saw her. But this wild animal is already breaking my heart.

Let me back-up just a bit. As soon as I was cleared to buy the car, I rushed to my local dealer to place my order. Unfortunately, like many other dealers, they felt the Boss commanded additional dealer markup (ADM) over MSRP. I don’t disagree with their point-of-view, but I could never pay over sticker price for a car. So, I walked-out and called Jordan Ford in San Antonio, just over an hour away from where I live, and we made a deal for MSRP right over the phone. Everyone was pleasant, we exchanged some money and paperwork and it was done. It was a wonderful experience. I ordered the car with the Recaro seats and Torsen performance differential package, but skipped the floor mats and car cover. That’s it – those were the only two options, except for color. There was really only one choice possible for me – the same deep Kona Blue as the first pre-production Boss 302 I had seen in August 2010.

I have always loved dark blue, midnight blue, as a car color, though I have only owned one car in that hue. I like the blue to be so dark that any time after dusk, the car looks black. The Kona Blue fit the bill. I admit that I had reservations about the white markings, specifically the white roof. But after studying every photograph that I could find, I decided the retro paint scheme, based on 1960’s race livery, was something I liked. One of my racing heroes, Dan Gurney, even drove a blue and white Boss 302. So, on March 22, I ordered the car in Kona Blue and then settled-in for the long wait. Despite moving quickly, early Boss allocations were snatched-up and my order wouldn’t be built and delivered until Q3. I had months to wait.

Dan Gurney and his 1969 Boss 302

I spent my idle time on the forums with all of the other waiters, agonizing over every piece of trivial news we discovered about the Boss. Eventually, the first deliveries were made and we desperately tried to experience the Boss vicariously through the lucky new owners. We congratulated the new rock stars, demanding photos and video, satisfied even with shaky-cam video of a new Boss sleepily pulling into a driveway. We put on a brave face and cried ourselves to sleep each night. I followed the Boss 302S and the Boss 302R, racing in the World Challenge GTS and Grand-Am GS series, respectively. I collected photos and videos of every Boss I could find. I bought every magazine with the Boss on the cover. I made every wallpaper a Kona Blue Boss.

Then, a few weeks ago, my salesman from Jordan Ford called me and left a message. He needed me to call him back right away. I called back and he had some bad news. The earthquake in Japan had taken down a plant that manufactured an ingredient contained within certain Ford paints. Kona Blue was to be discontinued and I would have to choose another color. I couldn’t believe it. I broke the news on the forums and asked for leads on any of the remaining Kona Blue cars. There were a few tips, but most of them led to dealers who were already catching wind of the situation. Overnight, Kona Blue had become a “rare” color and commanded ADM over sticker price.

Then a few forum members contacted me with information that indicated that Kona Blue was not heavily drawn as a color choice, so if I stuck to my guns, my car might be built the way I wanted, before they ran out of paint. That seemed plausible to me and I started to calm down. I wasn’t having any other luck, anyway. Then I thought I would try a different strategy. If I was going to keep my order the way it was, why not see if I could get my order moved-up? It’s not my fault they couldn’t supply my color. I had a legitimate complaint. The fact is, at that time, they were still building cars in Kona Blue. I just needed to demand that they build my car right away. I wrote an email to Jordan Ford outlining my plan and asking that they forward my letter to somebody at Ford who could help me. A couple of days later, a manager from the dealership called. They had done everything they could. They had even talked another customer with a Boss order to trade places with me, so that I could have the earlier allocation. But, it was too late. There was no way to move the order up fast enough. The dealer told me that Ford would discontinue Kona Blue on May 25. He was very sorry.

I was distraught. Who did I have to fuck to get my car in Kona Blue?

Then, about an hour later (and without me asking for it), the dealer sent me a list of every Kona Blue that was on a lot or on the way to a lot! He had included the dealer name and phone numbers. There were only about ten left. I started calling. “Do you still have a Boss Mustang for sale?” I would ask. “I did two days ago. Sold it on Monday.” I rang off and tried another. Sold. Then another. $5000 ADM. Another. Sold. Sold. Open bidding. $10,000 ADM. Sold. Open Bidding. I exhausted the list with no luck. I put my name down on all of the remaining cars as a guaranteed MSRP deal, just in case the big-money guys evaporated. Still, it looked hopeless. At best, there were less than half-a-dozen Kona Blue cars remaining that weren’t spoken-for.

Today, I got word from my employer that I would be going back to New Zealand on business in just a couple of weeks. And that is that. Even if something were to come up, the time I would have to make a move just vanished. I think I hear the fat lady singing. Or, is that the siren song from my snarling punk-rock girl? You bitch goddess, I still want you. Did I mention that Looking for Mr. Goodbar doesn’t end well?

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