London 2023

So, I went to London on a work trip!

I was very excited, because I hadn’t been to London since I was 19 years old. My Uncle John and I had spent a week or so there on holiday in the Summer of 1987, while we were both stationed in West Germany. In the 30+ years since then, I had watched London change with the times, through the films and TV shows I enjoyed. I couldn’t wait to see those changes for myself. Of course, I was also excited to meet my biggest customer and I went with the Joshes, who made fun of me, because I look like this when I travel.

Oakley Court, Windsor

We stayed at the beautiful Oakley Court in Windsor. Oakley Court is a Victorian Mansion built around 1859 and set on an idyllic property on the banks of the River Thames.

The old mansion has been used as a location in dozens of films and in one hallway, the walls were covered in movie posters from those films.

River Thames Cruise, Windsor

That evening, the two company teams got together for a boat ride on the Thames, where we had some wine and got to know one another. It was cold on the water, but the view was stunning.

The next morning, I took a walk around the grounds, before enjoying poached egg on avocado toast. I’ll never get over the beautiful orange yolks found in English eggs. We had meetings in the morning, before gathering for a friendly archery tournament. I’m happy to report that despite never having touched a proper bow in my whole life, I came in second and more importantly, really, really enjoyed myself! We had meetings in the afternoon and then gathered again that evening for drinks in the parlor before dinner.

Dinner was delicious and began with us over-ordering starters, so the table was overflowing with choices. At my end of the table was a sashimi selection that I couldn’t stop eating. And that would be my undoing.

The next morning, I awoke and everything inside my body decided to leave my body by whatever means available. As it happens, ALL means were available. I was also running a high fever and my whole body hurt. I had been poisoned and I knew it was the sashimi. I went back to bed, slept through breakfast, and then did my best to put myself together for our morning meetings. At the meeting, I looked across the table at the man speaking and I saw the unmistakable “white-out” effect that happens before passing out. Without a word, I stood up, steadied myself, and went back to my room, where I slept until it was time to go into London.

London

The drive into London was unremarkable and I spent my time and remaining energy on holding myself together.

The Corner Hotel, East London

Hip, quirky (perhaps to a fault), and advertised as the greenest hotel in London, The Corner Hotel in East London was 180 degrees from the ultra-luxe and traditional Oakley Court. The rooms contain a futuristic pod, within which is the bathroom and to which is attached the bed, a lamp made from a garden hose, and a giant mural of a large, severe pastry chef with an inscrutable expression on her face and a hand hidden behind her back. I don’t know why she is looking at me in my bed, surrounded by furniture made from rubber garden hose, but for reasons only my therapist could guess, she terrified me.

I should have had the whole afternoon and evening to myself to explore London, but instead, I spent the next 18 hours in that pod sleeping and fighting a very high fever. The next morning, I pulled myself together for the final meetings to be held in the offices of my customer. I still felt terrible, but I cracked on and somehow made it all the way through those meetings and back to my room.

River Thames Walk, London

It was our last evening in London and despite still feeling puny, I was determined to try and go for a walk and see some of the city. My hotel was only a couple of blocks from the Tower Bridge, so I made that my goal. I would walk there and if I was really suffering, I would turn back. If I still felt okay, I would walk a little bit more. It’s a testament to my hard-headedness that I made it all the way to West London before turning back.

LEGO Store, Leicester Square

One of my hot takes is that Lego is overrated, but if they are going to pander to me this hard, then I’m big enough to give them some love and respect, which is how I found myself staggering into the world’s largest Lego store in which on display was a full-sized Aston Martin DB-5 made of Lego.

I walked back to the hotel and felt well enough to order some food to take to my room. Despite my frailty, I had somehow managed to walk ten miles and had built-up an appetite. Luckily, the British view macaroni-and-cheese as a proper main course, so I had a delicious and beautifully bland meal of macaroni-and-cheese, salad, and toast, all of which I ate while watching Thunderball on the telly. Not a perfect trip, but “Jimmy Pribble will return.”