A couple of years ago, after staying late at work, I had started back to my car in the then empty parking garage. I was near the top floor and I could see through to the open sky, which by then had turned a beautiful purple color as the sun was going down. I walked to the open top floor and indeed, was witness to a spectacular sunset. After a long and tiring day, it was just the thing I needed. The temperature was mild and there was a pleasant breeze whipping around the downtown buildings. I walked to the edge of the garage and leaned down on the wall Charlie Brown style, so that I could really take it in and let the stressful day wash away from me.
As soon as my bare forearms touched the top of the wall, I recoiled! In order to deter loitering grackles (the skies of Austin are darkened by these foul birds), the top of the wall had been covered with an industrial strength glue! Worse yet, I hadn’t noticed that the glue was encrusted with bird feathers, insects, bird shit, and to my horror, bits of bird feet and legs that had snapped off as they had struggled to fly away from this miniature Le Brea tar pit! This unholy müselix of detritus had now been encrusted on my arms! As I fought the gag reflex, I struggled to tear this stuff from my arms, but to no avail.
Somehow, I had to get back into the office to see if I could get cleaned up. Unfortunately, it was a security building and I would have to pass right in front of the guard desk with all of this crap on my arms. I was totally embarrassed that I had done something so stupid. I managed to sneak past the guard and make my way back into my office. I scrubbed like a madman using every kind of cleaner that I could find, but the harder I scrubbed, the more the big bits were simply smashed into little bits. The stuff on my arms was just turning into a shit paste and beneath it all, my arms were turning bright red from the desperate scraping. That glue was some nasty stuff. I even tried alcohol that I found in a first aid kit, but that was also no good. Finally, I found a bottle of Goo Gone in the print room and that did the trick. Worked like a champ. Thanks Goo Gone; you’re the greatest product I have ever used!
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